“I Don’t Know Nuthin’ Bout’ Birthin’ No Babies!”

This is totally the truth when it comes to me and Lee actually being in a labor room and giving birth. Yes, I realize that I am the one giving birth but after going to our first Prepared Childbirth Class, I realized that the support person has a lot to do as well.

We attended our first of four classes Monday night for learning how to give birth. It was 2 ½ hours long and for about 2 hours of it, Lee and I were making this face…

For 30 minutes of it, we were laughing and could not stop. We were being those silly young people who can’t control their giggles for no reason at all.

The class had 7 couples that were married and one girl that was a freshman in high school who was there with her coach, her sister who was in college. There was pretty much a mix of people that were having girls and boys, so that was surprising to hear with all the “girl” boom going around. We are being taught by a nurse who is pretty long winded but interesting to listen to and who pretty much puts things out there without sugar-coating anything.

We went over dilation, effacement, and pelvic station and what exactly all of those things mean. When Lee and I got to the page in the workbook that showed the actual sizes of dilation, we couldn’t stop staring at the 10 cm circle. That is huge, but then not so huge as a baby’s head. How the heck does this work? Anyway, we would go on to something else, but I kept flipping back to the 10 cm circle and flashing it to Lee…hence the “face” again…



Next was the dreaded birthing video that Lee and I had never seen before. It was of a woman who wanted to do everything naturally without any type of drugs (crazy girl, but very brave). We saw all that her mama gave her and then saw what she gave to her son…from the 10 cm circle. After the face again…

Lee felt the need to tell me that he was planning on staying north of my 10 cm circle and coaching me by my head. I said that was fine and to make sure there were not any mirrors in sight so that I could stay north of my 10 cm circle as well!

After the video, we all got in the floor on bean bags leaned up against the walls and did relaxation techniques. We started by doing deep breathing and then relaxing each part of our body one by one. Then we did relaxation imagery where you picture something nice like the beach and then focus on all the details of the picture. Lee and I did pretty good, but I had to keep opening my eyes, because, c’mon, you are in a room full of strangers…you need to be aware at all times. So, naturally, I wasn’t relaxed and I think I’m starting to hyperventilate from all the breathing, but I look over at Lee, who I think wouldn’t be relaxed either, and he is all leaned back with his legs laid out completely in front of him and head cocked back like he is in a full sleeping mode. I couldn’t help but laugh. That got him laughing and it was a struggle to quit at that point. Relaxation imagery was ruined, but by that time, it was over. Thank God.

Next, the coaches were supposed to get in front of the pregger ladies and help with the breathing techniques we learned to do during contractions. The nurse teacher mentioned that we needed to find a focal point and that could be anything from a picture of another child, a stuffed teddy bear or a picture of a pet, etc. So, Lee and I decided that my focal point needed to be a picture of Maggie with her serious under-bite. Who couldn’t relax after seeing that?



So, Lee is in front of me and we decide that we are totally up for doing the hard patterned breathing b/c we are so smart and love challenges, right? Whatever…we couldn’t get through the first one, because Lee is sitting in front of me with his bottom row of teeth sticking out like Maggie and there goes my concentration! After a while of trying to muffle our laughing, we gave up and let it out loud. The nurse comments that she knows this is probably silly, but we really do need to concentrate and practice this. We still can’t stop laughing and she gives up and tells us we can all go home! Hilarious!

I can’t wait for next week when they show the birthing video for the woman that gets an epidural…she’s my hero!