What can I say about Birthing Class #2?
That’s right…I’m speechless. We got to watch yet another lovely video of the miracle of birth, although again, it was a natural birth, so the pain was quite evident. This video was nothing like what we saw the first time...in fact, it was much worse! We just thought we were horrified last week, but this video showed us up close and personal as the baby’s head crowned, went back in, and then came back out as the mother pushed again. Only this time, it was an alien. Lee and I looked at one another with the question on both of our faces, “What the heck is that?” We were not convinced it was a baby until the full body was out and they started cleaning it…I mean, it was solid white and looked like it had been through hell and back. Poor thing, but not as poor as us having to watch it!
Then, as if that wasn’t enough, they showed (again, up close and way more personal that I would want to be with a video camera), the delivery of the placenta. WTF? The placenta is that large? Why has no one told me about this? If parents or teachers want to stop teenage pregnancy, all they have to do is show this every night after dinner. Heck, why not show it before dinner too and help childhood or teenage obesity. I bet that child would never eat or even think about having sex again.
But, as for me (and the high school freshmen in our class), it is too late and we must deal with this wonderful, amazing, miraculous thing they call “giving life”.
After the video, we discussed different types of pain medication (my kind of talk) and the pros and cons of each. I felt like Amy Poehler in the movie Baby Mama with Tina Fey when she is sitting on the exercise ball and yells out “Whoo-whoo” in the class when they asked who wanted to use an epidural during labor.
That’s right…I’m speechless. We got to watch yet another lovely video of the miracle of birth, although again, it was a natural birth, so the pain was quite evident. This video was nothing like what we saw the first time...in fact, it was much worse! We just thought we were horrified last week, but this video showed us up close and personal as the baby’s head crowned, went back in, and then came back out as the mother pushed again. Only this time, it was an alien. Lee and I looked at one another with the question on both of our faces, “What the heck is that?” We were not convinced it was a baby until the full body was out and they started cleaning it…I mean, it was solid white and looked like it had been through hell and back. Poor thing, but not as poor as us having to watch it!
Then, as if that wasn’t enough, they showed (again, up close and way more personal that I would want to be with a video camera), the delivery of the placenta. WTF? The placenta is that large? Why has no one told me about this? If parents or teachers want to stop teenage pregnancy, all they have to do is show this every night after dinner. Heck, why not show it before dinner too and help childhood or teenage obesity. I bet that child would never eat or even think about having sex again.
But, as for me (and the high school freshmen in our class), it is too late and we must deal with this wonderful, amazing, miraculous thing they call “giving life”.
After the video, we discussed different types of pain medication (my kind of talk) and the pros and cons of each. I felt like Amy Poehler in the movie Baby Mama with Tina Fey when she is sitting on the exercise ball and yells out “Whoo-whoo” in the class when they asked who wanted to use an epidural during labor.
Other than that, we talked more about the stages of labor and what to expect from each. Nurse Teacher Jill told us that in a non-emergency situation they always ask the dads or support people if they want to cut the umbilical cord. I turned to look at Lee expecting “The Face”, but he was actually all like, “yeah, I can do it…no problem”. Then Nurse Teacher Jill starting describing the umbilical cord as a thick stretchy piece of gum and you really have to work at cutting through it. Lee started turning a little green and “The Face” was slowly starting to form. I’m confident he can do it though. Any takers on bets?
We got in the floor to do our breathing exercises again where Lee and I made it though without silly little 3rd grade girly giggles. Actually, all of the breathing gave me a headache and made me want to hyperventilate, but other than that, it was fine. I figure all the breathing won’t bother me as bad when the pain actually starts!
All in all, we left the class on a very good note because the manager of the Jackson Chick-Fil-A and his wife are in the class, and he brought us coupons! I can’t wait to go back next week…maybe he will bring free ice cream!
3 comments:
I think the over-under on Leet cutting the cord is 40-60. Remember he did say he would stay north of your 10 cm circle...
Hilarious... again! I miss you guys so much! I hope Dustin doesn't read this blog... I'm already having a hard time convincing him that we could handle having kids!
Hey - delivering the placenta is no big thing. No worries. I barely remember it. I do, however remember everything else leading up to it! Epidural=best decision of my life!
Post a Comment